The perfect marriage.

Is there such thing? Let’s face it, we’re not all perfect and it’s definitely not easy!

This week I spoke with Nitza Lowenstein, a celebrant with 20 years experience who has done over 1,000 wedding ceremonies. She shared with me some important tips on how to create the perfect marriage to make sure we stay happy and in love.

A marriage, essentially, is two individuals embarking on the same life journey. So how do we do this successfully?

Get connected

Firstly, there must be a mental and physical connection and you must be able to maintain it – the ability to communicate and be each other’s friend is really important. Once you have this, you’ll have a better understanding of one another.

Compromise

Show flexibility and compromise – always consider the other. Come up with a solution that can work in both your favours and keep you both happy.

Be yourself

Retain your individuality – you are of course sharing your life with someone, but you need to be yourself too! There is something incredibly empowering and admirable, especially when women show a strong sense of individuality and aren’t needy. Don’t step behind into your partner’s shadow and loose yourself and what you stand for.

Don’t look for faults

It’s easy to look for faults in others – but as I said before, we’re not all perfect so if you start looking there will be plenty, creating very unnecessary argument!

Support and encourage

How you act in public is also important – people are very conscious of how they are portrayed or what is said about them in front of people, so don’t criticise your partner. Always give them confidence by way of support and encouragement.

Be truthful

Honesty is the best policy right? And it’s no truer than in a marriage. Speak the truth and don’t hide things from your partner – it makes you look untrustworthy and can severely effect your relationship.

Laugh and smile!

We’ve all heard that laughing releases endorphins, which relieves stress and makes you overall a happier person! Well humour helps make a great marriage too! There are so many ways to keep the humour on the up with your partner – relive funny pastimes you’ve both shared, sit down with a bowl of popcorn and watch a funny movie, watch your children play outside! Don’t take yourself too seriously, be able to take a step back and have a chuckle together!

Stay positive

Keeping positive will mean that every challenge or situation will be tackled with a healthy mindset and create less stress.

Be passionate

Keep the passion alive. Have regular dinner dates together, make a conscious effort to head away for a romantic weekend every now and then. Keep eye contact, greet each other at the end of the day with a hug. Simple daily interactions are all you need to keep your attraction strong!

Treasure family

Or perhaps more honestly, be nice to your mother-in-law! Many arguments and challenges revolve around family, so it’s important to always be nice and understanding. We’re all different!

Show respect

Love itself is not enough if you don’t show respect. Show them gratitude when they do something for you, compliment them on their achievements, work as team to show how much you value their opinions.

Cherish them

Hold them dearly to you and show them love through both your words and your actions. Let them know that you’re thinking of them when you’re not near. It’s really important to let them know how much you mean to them, and on the daily, not just on Valentines Day or your anniversary! And don’t take them for granted; don’t ignore the things they do for you and really listen to what they have to say. Value and appreciate their opinions and what they contribute to your marriage.

Money matters

Unfortunately, this can be a big problem for many couples. How much we can spend on what, how often and when? One way to tackle this is to involve your partner in making those decisions, even if it means taking him to pick the curtains! It’s also important to share a bank account; show mutual trust and openness with one another.

It may seem like common sense, but we’re all human beings and we get carried away with life, sometimes not putting things into perspective and overlooking the essentials.

We see it, we read it, we hear it, but we really need to think deeper and make these tips part of day- to-day married life!

To listen to the full podcast of this episode of Weddings, Parties, Celebrations, click here.

---